How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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