Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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