are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
