Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Pants are for mortals
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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