I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
