Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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