She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize