Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
