Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
