Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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