drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
