I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
