I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
