Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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