He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
