Don't make out with my wife yet
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
