yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize