Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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