covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
