I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
