He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sext me about skeletons
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
