OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
