is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
