I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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