I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
