you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
how drunk are you?
Several
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
