everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
