So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
