Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Don't make out with my wife yet
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
