i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i barfeds in our rink
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
