oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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