If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
