I only kidnapped one of them. chill
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize