I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize