you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
