Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
