And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
