she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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