she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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