Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
