The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
