I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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