she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
