Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I love having hate sex.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
