I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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