I can tuck mytits in my pants
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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