I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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