This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
did you just send me my own nude
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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