i need an iv and a liver transplant
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
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