I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
