Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i've created a new STD.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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