SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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