I skipped work to stalk him.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
