and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
