You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize