FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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