i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
