there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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