D3 body, D1 cock
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
