when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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