goodnight i made you a song goodbye
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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