i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
