omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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