one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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